Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
