i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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