I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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