ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even my farts smell like vagina
Farmville is her only friend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
