I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am in a vortex of obligation.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
