how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
try to milk me bitch
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