how can u be prego again
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
