Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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