I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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