There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
