Christians are straight up FREAKS
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
