Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
