i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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