i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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