Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
