oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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