Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
