haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
