I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
