my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
