it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
