youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
