I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize