I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
