I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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