I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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