If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
