he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
