Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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