connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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