When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize