Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
