porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
