and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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