Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
