i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
