im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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