My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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