A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
