Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
