It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize