I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am naked and annoyed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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