The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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