distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
