i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
