i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
