Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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