You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
