I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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