When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Shame - the story of my life.
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