i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
