once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
