i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
