I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
