At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize