i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
