As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
pray to the hookup gods
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
