what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
