Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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