This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Too much gin, very little bucket
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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