please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
