I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
