Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
