my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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