You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
