if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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