pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
