I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
